Where is Joy?






Trusting that God really is good and has my good in mind is tough when I think through a past devastated by a broken marriage and a year of deep depression and a future that may include divorce, single parenting, and financial difficulty. Oh, I know God CAN bring a change to my circumstances, but in those moments I am really doubtful that God WOULD do that or even WANTS to do that. He seems unloving and even selfish.

Trusting that God really is good and has my good in mind is tough when I think through a past devastated by a broken marriage and a year of deep depression and a future that may include divorce, single parenting, and financial difficulty. Oh, I know God CAN bring a change to my circumstances, but in those moments I am really doubtful that God WOULD do that or even WANTS to do that. He seems unloving and even selfish. 

So what’s our response when God doesn't change our circumstances? When we feel that He's ignoring our cries for help, or that He just doesn't care? This is where faith comes in. 

See, my perception of God's goodness was hanging on what God was doing for ME. If He doesn't do what I want Him to do (change my circumstances, make me feel better), I label Him "not good." But - God IS good. My brain knew that, but my feelings were telling me the opposite. And we know from the Bible that our feelings often lie to us; we can't trust our feelings or our emotions to tell us the Truth about Who God is and who we are in Christ. Jeremiah 17 reminds us that our hearts are deceitful above all things. Does that mean all emotions and feelings are bad? No, of course not, but we should never trust our feelings above Scripture. If your heart is telling you that God doesn't love you, your heart is lying to you. How do you know? Scripture plainly tells us that God DOES love us. You must CHOOSE to believe the Gospel and the truths of the Word. So I began to CHOOSE to believe that God is good, that He wasn't playing some cruel game. I CHOSE to trust him with my marriage and my kids' lives. I CHOSE to believe that He really was working for my good and His glory. 

 As I’ve learned how to trust God over the past three years, three truths have stood out: 

1. God is completely sovereign and works in ways I can’t see or understand. Startling fact here: I'm not God. I'm not privy to all the information and understanding and wisdom that God has. I have to trust God is somehow using adverse events for my good and for His own glory. I have to trust that my circumstances haven't taken him by surprise. Job had no idea why God allowed so much pain and suffering to come into his life. Job lost his crops, his animals, his children, his health. And God was totally silent. In the end, God does speak to Job, but it's not to give him answers. No, God reminds Job of who God is. For three chapters, God reminds Job of His power and sovereign understanding. And Job replies: "I know that you can do all things, and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted. Therefore I have uttered what I did not understand, things too wonderful for me, which I did not know." Job comes to understand the full power and sovereignty of God, but he never actually gets an answer to WHY the Lord allowed all those bad things to come into his life. And so it is with us. We must come to understand that God is far more wise than us, and that in His complete sovereignty, He's working for our good, often in ways I can't see or understand. 

 2. God really is good, and He works for the good of His kids While our feelings may tell us that God isn't good, Scripture tells us over and over that He really is. Sometimes we just have to choose to believe that. So what is the 'good' God is working in my life? We like to quote the verse about how God works all things together for the good of those who love Him, but what kind of good is that verse talking about? The verse isn't saying that those who love God will have a life free of hardship and suffering. No, Jesus actually promises us that, if we choose to devote our lives to Him, we will experience pain and adversity. 'Good' actually means that God is making us like Jesus. When God brings or allows suffering into our lives, He's using those circumstances to bring us toward Him, to depend on Him, to recognize His authority and sovereignty in our lives. 

 3. Your joy isn't dependent on "good" circumstances. Joy comes when we submit our lives to king Jesus, completely trusting that He has our good in mind as He sovereignly guides our lives. When I totally gave over all control of every aspect of my life to God, I experienced profound freedom and joy. Why? Because my joy was no longer tied to my circumstances. I’m prone to believing the lie that joy is found in the right circumstances. That if this will happen and that will happen, I’ll be comfortable and at peace and have joy. But that’s just not the case. Joy and contentment come only with my submission to the Father’s will for my life. 

 I still don't understand why God allowed the adversity of a broken marriage into my life. But I know this: God is completely sovereign, He really is good, He's always at work for my good and His glory, and my joy isn't dependent on my circumstances.